I Love Shiny Things, But I Would Marry You in Paper Rings, or Silicone:

Two Years Later, Looking Back On Our Covid Wedding

Growing up I had always dreamed of what my wedding would be like. The wedding gown, food, venue, first dance, flowers. I would spend countless hours with my cousins watching Say Yes to

The Dress and Four Weddings, pointing out what we wanted for our weddings and what we hated. Critical of those who had a lowly $5,000 wedding dress budget. Way before I had met my husband, our wedding day was mapped down to the seating chart.

When Shawn proposed I immediately started the planning, or really finding the real life versions of what I had imagined. As I was just finishing school and we were looking for and saving for our first home, our wedding budget was small but with the help of our family, and finding deals, we were able to stay within budget. As I planned a wedding during my first year as a nurse, Shawn and I often thought, should we just elope right now and have a party later? Amidst the hectic planning, we had many weekends were we sat contemplating if we should just go to the courthouse and do it, promising my sister that she would be there as witness. It just seemed so much easier, and when we bought the house we were even more tempted, as we were waiting to move in together until after the wedding.

But as contracts were signed for the venue, DJ and photographer, it became evident, an elopement was no longer an option. Until Covid hit.

I recall talking to my friends at our Jack and Jill, about the new virus found in China and what it could mean for our country. As the nurse and the self proclaimed health expert, I assured everyone Covid was just like the flu. Just like the other “big outbreaks” in other countries we would probably just have a few cases and we wouldn’t even see the effects. I celebrated carelessly with my friends and family, not realizing, that this was the closest we would get to a wedding celebration.

In the weeks following our Jack and Jill, Covid really exploded, it went from a slightly concerning virus, unknown to the U.S, to a full blown pandemic. The unit I worked on in the hospital became a Covid unit and our patients were moved to what was normally a surgical recovery area. Schools were on an extended vacation and restrictions came into place. We decided the day we were paying

for our honeymoon not to book it as travel restrictions were beginning. Then the bigger conversation began, should we still have our wedding we planned.

It was the the third week of March and we were having the discussion we had constantly been replaying the last few weeks. Businesses are closing, will they be open in May? Will we even be able to elope in May? There was already a restriction of gatherings more than 10 people, and we knew this could go even lower in that time. Even if we still could, would it be safe to see our family as there was a large chance I would soon be working on the Covid units with Covid positive patients. Shawn was also still going into homes and businesses daily for work unsure of his possible exposure. With both our parents in their 50-60s we did not want to chance them getting sick. As this was the first month of the pandemic and we did not know what was to come, we also thought, maybe this would all be over before May and we will miss out on what we had planned. But were we willing to take that risk. Shawn and I talked to our family, we talked to our wedding parties, to each other. for hours And we finally decided, we would elope, in one week.

We quickly had to plan. My dress was still being altered and

was not in my possession,I did not have someone to do my hair or makeup for that day, we didn’t know where we could do it, or who would be there. We also had not yet gotten our wedding bands and the stores were closed except for essential stores. I ordered a short white dress and some hair clips on Amazon, bought new makeup from CVS and taught myself how to do a wedding look. We bought silicone rings from Walmart as well as dress pants and shoes for Shawn. We decided as we could only have 10 people including us, it would be both our parents and my maid of honor, my sister Jen and Shawn’s best friend and best man Brandon. My dad was planning on marrying us and is a licensed minister, so that made it easier for us to have it last minute and the backyard of Shawn's childhood home.

We quickly went to the get our marriage license from the town, and realized that the Agawam town hall door was locked. We stood there, wondering if we had already missed our chance to get our license. As we were calling the town hall number with no answer, another couple walked up. They said they had called and made an appointment as they were doing the same thing, cancelling their big planned wedding and opting to elope in lieu of the current situation. They said, just come in with us, it should be okay. So when the doors were opened for their appointment, we also slipped right in and requested a marriage license, praying they would do it without an appointment. To our relief they agreed, as they said, good thing you came today, this is our last day in the office, for we are not sure how long. It was perfect timing.

The day of our wedding, I got ready at my soon to be shared home, with my sister and mother and drove to my in laws house where we would have our small ceremony. I walked out with my father, in my $20 dress, with our wedding song, Yours by Russell Dickerson playing from a cell phone. My father in law the photographer for the day, and my mother recording the wedding on Facebook live, so all our loved ones that couldn’t be with us could share in our day. Although I had a few roses instead of a bouquet and we sealed our marriage with silicone rings, my wedding was even more beautiful than I had wished for as a child.

I would be lying if I said there weren’t days, and even times on our wedding where we felt disappointment on how our wedding day conspired. Where we wished we had our first dance and cutting the cake and I was able to wear my dress I had pictured walking down the aisle in. (Which by the way I got a call during our “reception” saying my dress was ready). And I do not think that it is wrong to feel sadness on what we may have missed out on, and that our loved ones missed out as well.

After two years of marriage, I see that a wedding, is really just a fond memory with your loved ones. Whether you start your life together in a backyard, on a golf course or even in Vegas. Every day you

put in to make your marriage work after that day is what makes your relationship flourish. Having the perfect wedding gown or the most expensive venue will not matter when you have your first argument over finances, or learning to live together. Or in our case, learning to live together and be married in the middle of a pandemic where both of us were working as essential workers in. Figuring out how to align our schedules while I was working nights and how to take care of our five animals we adopted over the first year. Then learning how to heal together and not grow apart after our losses this past year. In a way, starting off our marriage in this crazy, last minute way may have better prepared us for all of our challenges that have come our way in our first two years of marriage. It is impossible to know how our marriage would be different if we decided to wait until May to get married. All I know is that each day, I wake up and go to bed next to my best friend. We can talk for hours and laugh until we cry about the silliest things. Although I may hate how awake and joyful he is every morning, my mornings would feel empty with out his smiling face. I truly could not picture a partner that would fit me more perfectly than Shawn, and I know he feels the same from his constant loving words and actions. We definitely still have our disagreements and know the exact buttons to push for each other, but I couldn’t imagine my life without him. Regardless of how our marriage began, I got to add two more months to the lifetime with my soulmate and that is significantly worth it. To many many more years with you.

Happy two year anniversary babes ❤️