Talk therapy? Try Hair Therapy

I was like many people a "natural blonde at birth" Had blonde almost platinum hair as a child, which brightened even more in the summer as I spent each day in the sun . And as I grew older the blonde started to darken, still turning golden in the summer, but more a dirty blonde in the winter. And once I had the money, I started going to a salon, "just to brighten up the blonde with a balayage" Of course the brightening, became striving to be brighter and blonder, but still swearing under the bleach, I was a natural blonde, just a dirty (dirty) blonde.

Although I've always defined myself as a blonde, over the years I have toyed with other colors, a few brief times with brown, a darker blonde, dark root or the Purple kool-aid ombre incident (if you would like to experience that disaster scroll back to about 2014 on my Instagram for the photo evidence). For two years solid I was taking care of my hair, getting it done every three months, always a variation of blonde. Until July hit.

Hair is an interesting thing, because although we consider it a staple of our self image, and part of our style, many times the slightest inconvenience can make us drastically change our hair. I had done this in the past when I was feeling a bit down or just not like myself, any time I felt like I needed a change.

So once I heard of our loss in the summer, I instantly decided purple was my next choice. I went to a friend's house with a couple containers of Manic Panic ready for a change. I loved the purple, it was fun, edgy, exciting, everything that I was not feeling.

But quickly the excitement of the purple faded and I decided to chop off the purple, and most of my hair. My first summer out of college my hair was growing out from a bob I had gotten the winter before and It was shoulder length and blonde. That summer I was working out, going out a lot, dressing up, living up having a nursing pay check while still living with my parents. Looking back at pictures from that summer, I wanted to be that carefree girl again, and no surprise, chopping my hair did not bring that person back.

At this point, my hair was feeling healthy, it was short and thicker and I thought, wow what if I just grow out my natural hair, it would be so healthy! After two years, bleaching my hair it was dry no matter what I did and I was ready for me and my hair to feel healthy. So then my idea was I will dye my hair myself, and color match my hair so then when it grows out it will match my roots and I will not have to keep dying it. Well this worked great until my roots started to come in and they were still darker than the color blonde I had dyed my hair.

So again I went to sally's this time getting a shade of blonde darker, and a bleaching kit, as I thought with my very limited hair dying experience I could successfully give myself platinum money pieces.

That went as well as I'm sure you expected and I covered the bright yellow bleach with my left over purple dye.This looked good for about two days, until the manic panic started fading, showing my botched blonde.

At this point I covered the money pieces as well and my whole head was a dark blonde somewhat similar to my natural hair. I had my hair like this for a while, until our family went through another loss and I decided I needed another change. This time a dark, dark brown that I still have at the moment.

When I cannot change my circumstances or how I feel, I often, like many, impulsively change my hair, get piercings, new clothes, hoping that changing the outside will also change the inside. Almost to create a new identity, a person that was not scarred by circumstances in life, but someone who cannot be taken down by

what is to come next.

Now almost 25 years old, I know a new outfit or change of hair will not fix any issue I have, but it will usually put myself in a new head space, with a new outlook. And if seeing my hair purple, or getting my nose pierced ( pictures to come of my newest piercing 😉), gives me a few moments of joy, I see know harm in that.

Talk therapy is definitely an amazing tool that helps many individuals, but at this point in my life, I am doing just fine working through my issues through talking it out with myself, and serotonin trips to the Sally's.

And on the subject...stay tuned next week for all NEW hair! Don't worry guys, I am going to the salon this time.

Special shout out to my sister Jen for submitting this blog topic idea, if there is any topic, you would like to see! Feel free to comment or send a message with your suggestion and I will do my best to incorporate them into upcoming posts.